There’s not a lot of time spent talking these days about virtuous speech. Not pretend virtue, like the stuff that you hear from the professionally religious, but honestly expressed talk about how certain types of behavior benefit society at large, as well as the individuals doing the behaving.
In the Olden Days, there was a sort of aspirational good behavior, basic civics and manners, that was popular in the era when major daily newspapers still had a society column. That’s been fading out slowly since the sixties, and the stubborn hangers-on to that tradition (like Miss Manners) have had to cloak themselves in ironic distance to get away with it.
For years, public advocacy for civil behavior has been the nearly exclusive property of those with something to gain from controlling the behavior of others, whether in a reasonable and pragmatic sense (school teachers and administration, for instance) or in a cynical and calculating sense (televangelists whose bottom line depends on keeping the faithful in line and writing checks), or even more cynically, religious extremists who are promoting the idea that only people who believe in their particular god are equipped with a functional moral compass. The business of feigning shock at others’ speech or actions has become a mainstay for a certain type of public individual (an easy example of this is the outrage! over the Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction. There are dozens of others to choose from).
Just as any credence in global warming has become identified with the political Left, talking about Good Behavior, has become identified with certain other agendas—the political Right, the religious scold, or those of an authoritarian temperament. Those who quietly set a good example are by and large invisible, perhaps because they’re not as interesting to the media and society at large as those whose behavior is more transgressive.
Conversations about the benefits of behaving well have been taken over by public scolds for as long as I can remember. So much so, that even now I tend to tune out anyone speaking about good behavior, writing the messenger off as someone with an axe to grind. That’s why I was delighted when, following the foolish sideshow surrounding the future of the Tonight Show a few weeks ago, a beautifully spoken sentiment emerged when Conan O’Brien said, “I hate cynicism. It’s my least favorite quality and it doesn’t lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen.”
I don’t have a single thing to add to that. I’m just delighted that a high profile American entertainer enmeshed in what could have been a public pissing match with his rivals and erstwhile employers publicly advocated hard work and kindness as a path to success. Good for him.
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Ben Thompson 
This was a great post. I fully didn’t expect it to wrap back into a ‘pop culture’ reference with Conan O’Brien.
Like you said, I also try to tune out the moralizing of major media (or at least consume it with a suspicious nature), but thank you for bringing my attention back to a public figure who might actually have something to add to this world as a role model.
As a cynic, i dispute that it doesn’t lead anywhere. Like any defense mechanism, it can really screw you if you overindulge, but it’s important to foster a healthy cynicism in the same way your body needs a healthy immune system. Yeah, you want to work with people you can trust, but that’s not always possible.
If O’Brien hates cynicism, he really is in the wrong industry.
There’s a difference between keeping your guard up and letting the need to do that make you cynical. If all you expect to see from people is bad stuff, all you’re going to see is bad stuff…
Wow! This is awesome thanks Ben. My boss and I were actually just talking about the silent do-gooder and his role in society.
This made my day, hope all is well.
-Dillon